Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
