I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
