I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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