Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
