He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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