I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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