I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
