dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
