So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
