Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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