come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
