I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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