You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
