just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
