At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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