so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
