She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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