he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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