I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
