Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
