How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I could fuck to npr.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
