the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
