Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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