What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize