i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
