are you still at the devil's house?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
