well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
