just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
