he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
