we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
there is glitter all over my balls
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
