I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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