Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So here I am, sexting at work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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