I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
