I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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