you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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