rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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