I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
