Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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