I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
