Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
