okay pat passed out under dana's car
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
