There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
