Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
