my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
