He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
