Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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