I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
