Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
