I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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