Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
