dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
